Filed under Culture

Wishes can come true…

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To Tattoo or not to Tattoo?

Dear Reader,

Tattooing is a noble and ancient tradition in cultures all over the world. While little is know about how, why, or when tattooing came into being, two things are certain: 1) Tattoos can be really cool and 2) tattoos can be incredibly stupid. We here at Yahoo! Answered love a good paradox. So that’s why we have been scouring the internet for the finest examples of the worst tattoos. In our search, we stumbled upon a post from COED Magazine. We’ll let them take it from here:

“Lots of people get drunk, but it takes a special kind of idiot to get a tattoo during that special time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining that the guy who stumbles into a tattoo parlor exists – they fuel my blog fire. All I’m saying is that there’s definitely a feeling a regret, no matter how much they try to pull that sh*t off. Mustache on your finger? Yeah that’s a mistake. Honor these idiots and their brazen ideas by checking out their WTF tats.

So, click here and check out some terrible tattoos. And yes, that’s a Patrick Swayze Centaur tattoo.

Yours,
D.
Level 2 Answerer & Founder of Yahoo! Answered, Est. 2012
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Was it hard to be a slave?

Dear Reader,

The following comes from the blog Letters of Note which shares with the internet important letters and documents throughout history. The following is quite an enjoyable letter and I thought I would share it with you in my continuing efforts to honor Black History Month. I will allow the brilliant minds at Letters of Note to take care of the introduction.

 
“In August of 1865, a Colonel P.H. Anderson of Big Spring, Tennessee, wrote to his former slave, Jourdan Anderson, and requested that he come back to work on his farm. Jourdan — who, since being emancipated, had moved to Ohio, found paid work, and was now supporting his family — responded spectacularly by way of the letter seen below (a letter which, according to newspapers at the time, he dictated).
Rather than quote the numerous highlights in this letter, I’ll simply leave you to enjoy it. Do make sure you read to the end.
(Source: The Freedmen’s Book; Image: A group of escaped slaves in Virginia in 1862, courtesy of the Library of Congress.)”

Please enjoy.

Yours,
D.
Level 2 Answerer & Founder of Yahoo! Answered, Est. 2012
 
———————————————————————–
 
Dayton, Ohio,
August 7, 1865To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy,—the folks call her Mrs. Anderson,—and the children—Milly, Jane, and Grundy—go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams’s Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve—and die, if it come to that—than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,
Jourdon Anderson.

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Drunk baby

Dear Reader,

At Yahoo! Answered, we do not condone underage drinking. If we allow people under the age of 21 to drink, we are no better than those savages in Europe. That is why we are particularly stunned to find out that babies getting drunk is an epidemic in the US. In April 2011, a bartender accidentally gave a 2 year-old a margarita in his sippy cup rather than the apple juice his mom ordered. If that isn’t bad enough, weeks earlier in Central Florida a baby got crunked on a Tropical Surprise at the Olive Garden. Then, we get this question from a poor parent trying to help her baby kick the sauce and- Wait a minute… One our field reporters just sent in this video. God help us.

Yours,
D.
Level 2 Answerer & Founder of Yahoo! Answered, Est. 2012
 
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Hamilton, Burr, and the Gay Ear

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Beware of Woman

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Just say no to farts

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Yahoo! Answered needs your help. The power is yours!

Dear Reader,

What you are about to read may shock you. I’ll give you a second to sit down… Ready? OK. Yahoo! Answered needs your help answering this question. I know, I know… We are supposed to have all the answers. Unfortunately, everyone on staff here at Yahoo! Answered is white and though I have spent years in Harlem doing research on African Americans, they still remain as enigmatic as ever. So, I turn to you. Please post your answers to this question in the comments section. Remember to read the question carefully. We are looking for what African Americans, specifically in the United States (the question doesn’t refer to African Americans in Africa), celebrate, what they eat, and of course what they all have in common. We must help this poor ignorant person learn more about the African American experience by boiling down their culture into a few sentences. Remember, this is for research.

Yours,
D.
Level 2 Answerer & Founder of Yahoo! Answered.
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Cowgirl? Or Knightette?

Dear Lady Readers,

Yahoo! Answered has its fingers firmly pressed against the pulse of fashion. From the runways of Milan to the streets of Soho, we know the next big thing when it’s still three smaller things away. Luckily, we’re going to give our readers an inclusive inside scoop into the next wave in fashion: women dressed like medieval knights. From helmets and shields to bracers and breastplates, you’ll never look sexier than when encased in steel. But don’t take my word for it. Let the fashionistas at Museum Replicas show you their upcoming spring line.

“Behold! The German Gothic Salade with Bevor. Suitable for foot or mounted combat, this two-tiered helmet was prized by both knights and men-at-arms. The Salade, or English Sallet, possibly originated in France or Burgundy. It was constructed with a tail to protect the back of the head and neck. This version sits flush on a bevor, which protects the chin and throat. The original is believed to be English and dates from about 1480. Our replica features the moveable visor and a bevor with falling buff like the original. Forged of 18 gauge steel, both the salade and bevor are fully lined and wearable. Made by Windlass Steelcrafts®.”

Originally priced at $235, this beautiful helmet could be yours for only $189. You’re welcome.

Yours,
D.
Level 2 Answerer and Found of Yahoo! Answered, Est. 2012
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Everyone’s a little bit racist

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